


We Three

by RainbowArches



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Animal Transformation, Fluff, Light Dom/sub, Multi, Sickfic, asexual threesome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-04
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-02-19 19:39:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 10,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2400488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainbowArches/pseuds/RainbowArches
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Moments between the three of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bedtime

Nick could fall asleep. It was so quiet in here; hot water covered him like a blanket; steam turned his sore limbs to jelly. He wished the tub was bigger. He wanted to sink to the bottom and sleep under the water like it was his bed. And he'd take these candles with him because they smelled _soo goood_...  
"You awake?"  
Oh yeah; Maria was here. He forgot. She was stradling the wall of the tub, one foot in the water, one foot on the ground, reading a book.  
"Mm-hm."  
"You sure?"  
"Mm-hm."  
"You stoned?"  
"Mm-hm."  
She nudged his foot with hers.  
He opened his eyes. "What?"  
"Don't fall asleep. I'm not jumping in if you drown."  
"Sure you will."  
Phil came in, already in his pajamas, and started shaving his face. "Christ, you guys, it's like a sauna in here."  
"Maybe you're overdressed," Maria said.  
"Riiight. Maybe you're just crazy. Nick been sniffing your scented candles again?"  
Maria gave Nick another shove.  
"I'm awake."  
Maria reached into the water and pulled the plug. Nick scowled at her as he felt the water drain away. "You stole my blanket."  
"I wanna go to bed," Maria said. "Go make tea before you drown yourself."  
"Make Phil do it."  
"I'm busy."  
Nick rolled his eye. "Fine." He climbed out of the tub.  
Phil and Maria shamelessly enjoyed the view from behind as Nick left.  
"Stop staring at my ass." Though of course he never minded.  
"No."  
Nick grinned.


	2. Cold

The safe house was freezing. Maria could see her own breath as she panted, trying to extract herself from the tangle of Nick and Phil's limbs. She crawled out of bed and made her way to the fireplace. She fumbled around for the matches; it was too cold to wait for her eyes to adjust to the dark. Her hands trembled hard from her shivering; she wrecked three matches before giving up trying to light a fire.  
She looked back to the bed. Nick and Phil moved closer to each other, trying to warm each other up it the cold gap between them. Maria looked back at the empty fireplace, wrapping her arms around herself. None of them managed to get a fire going; they'd thrown off their clothes and huddled close together under the blankets instead. That felt better than taking turns at the fireplace, shivering, failing to light a match. Maria just thought it would be nice for them to wake up to a roaring fire. But soon they were going to wake up to the cold, disgruntled because Maria was not where she should be.  
She crawled back into bed, wedging herself between them, and they melted around her, thawing from her warmth. She settled in happily. Sharing their own heat was always better than sharing a fire anyway.


	3. Ink

Nick lay sprawled out on the bed, his head in Phil's lap. Phil had both hands clamped over Nick's mouth; no sound allowed. This was a silent activity. They couldn't be distracted by a noise evey time the pen scratched or tickled.  
Maria staddled Nick's waist; no squirming allowed. She was bent over him, slowly and meticulously drawing her name on his chest with the fountain pen in large, delicate cursive. Her brow furrowed, her tounge stuck out, as she concentrated on matching her name to Phil's, careful not to disturb his neat, still drying strokes. They were all naked for this; they didn't want the pen to catch on any material.  
Nick stayed as still as he could as the pen lovingly scratched and tickled. His arms stretched behind him, his fingers linked behind Phil's back; his toes curled as he kept his legs stiff; his breathing was perfectly even. Every effort he made for Phil he made for Maria. As they etched two perfect tattoos on his chest, he stayed perfectly silent, perfectly still.  
Maria finished, but didn't move. Nick had to stay still until the ink dried. He closed his eyes as Phil scratched his beard and Maria blew lightly on his chest to help the ink dry.  
Finally, Maria freed Nick's waist and Phil unclamped his hands from Nick's mouth. "Who's next?"


	4. Playlist

The Love Playlist  
1\. Stuck in the Middle with You Stealers Wheel  
2\. A Little Help from my Friends The Beatles  
3\. Black Magic Keeley Smith and Louis Prima  
("Hey, Maria actually knows this song."  
"I heard it on the Muppet Show.")  
4\. We'll Meet Again Vera Lynn  
("Really, Nick?"  
"What? It's from a movie.")  
5\. Let's Do It Alanis Morissette  
("Wait. Is this playlist supposed to describe us?"  
"I don't know. I think we're just picking favorites now.")  
6\. You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet Randy Bachman  
("You would pick that one, Maria.")  
7\. Give it a Go Molotov Jukebox  
8\. Have a Little Faith in Me John Hiatt  
9\. Can I Go Nowhere With You? Joel Plaskett  
("Should we make it even?"  
"No, it has to be divisible by three."  
"Are there any love songs about three people that don't involve sex or cheating?"  
"I haven't heard any.")  
Nick's Songs  
Mean Old Wind Died Down North Mississippi All Stars  
It Aint What You Do Ella Fitzgerald  
Life During Wartime Talking Heads  
Maria's Songs  
Don't Fence Me In Ella Fitzgerald  
Don't Stop Me Now Queen  
Short Skirt Long Jacket Cake  
Phil's Songs  
Puttin' on the Ritz Fred Astaire  
Ain't got that Swing Ella Fitzgerald  
Pink Panther Henry Mancini  
"So is this all going on one C.D. or what?"  
"What's a C.D.? No, I'm getting us all iPods. Then we can carry them around and listen to them whenever we want."  
"Aww. That was about to be sappy, wasn't it?"  
"Shut up."


	5. Sick

They could have timed this better. But Nick insisted Phil and Maria stay home. They could have gone to work, but they were sniffely and headachey, and Nick was trying to be nice, so they stayed home and tried to sleep it off. It didn't work.  
Nick had been coughing and sniffeling all week, but nothing had come of it, so he continued going to work. The day after Phil and Maria's day off, they felt even worse. They had a full blown cold, possibly flu, considering aches and bouts of nausea. But they had to go to work because they ordered Nick to stay home today. He was properly sick now, dizzy and feverish. He told them they could stay home if they were that sick, but they made it a rule that Shield never went a day without at least one of them in commission. They went to work.

"Alright, Coulson?"  
Phil looked up blearily at Clint, who placed tea and cough drops on his desk.  
"Heard you were sick."  
Phil nodded and sipped his tea. "Thanks."   
"Marai too. And Nick."  
Phil coughed pitifully.  
"You should go home. We'll survive without you."  
Phil looked skeptical.  
"Longer than you, at this rate."   
Phil conceded with a shrug, but sluggishly continued with his reports.

Maria sat in the Director's office, acting Director for the day. She was taking a break, her head in her arms, pressing tissues against her face.  
"You look like crap," said Melinda.  
"Uuuugh," she moaned.  
"You are in no condition to run this place today. Go home. Take Phil with you."  
"Can't. Nick's sick."  
Melinda rolled her eyes. "Take a nap then. I'll wake you in an hour or two."  
Maria considered this. "Promice?"  
"Yes."  
Maria stumbled over to the couch and collapsed. Melinda put her jacket over her as a blanket.

They decided to make it a nine to five day, because they really wanted to go to bed."  
Nick was asleep. Maria, have changed into her pajamas, crawled in and pressed herself against his back, trying to warm up. Phil pulled on his bathrobe before crawling in with them, worming his way into Nick's arms.  
Maria couldn't sleep for blowing her nose every five minutes, but she must have dozed off at some point because suddenly Nick and Phil were awake, and Natasha was at her side. Suddenly the room felt too bright and noisy. She pulled the covers over her head.  
"Clint made soup," said Natasha.  
Maria perked up and took the bowl Natasha handed her. Phil was eating his already. Nick clutched a steaming mug of tea to his chest.  
"And May says you have to take this." She held up tylonal and cough syrup and looked pointedly at Nick, who scowled. Phil and Maria took the cough syrup gratefully. Nick didn't take anything until Natasha tried to pour it into his tea.  
Natasha brought in another blanket and three glasses of water. Phil finished his soup and Nick abandoned his tea. They had fallen asleep.  
"Thanks Natasha," said Maria. "We've probably contaminated you."  
"I don't mind. Clint will just have to make more soup."


	6. Nightmares

Maria has nightmares about Nick and Phil getting into trouble. They were alone or surrounded and she couldn't get there in time or didn't notice until it was too late. When she wakes up she sits up in bed and pulls their hands into her lap and holds them. Eventually they wake up and wrap themselves reassuringly around her. Then she can sink back under the covers and sleep, knowing they're safe.  
Nick has nightmares about failure. He makes the wrong decision, trusts the wrong people, ignores the wrong threats, and dooms them all. When he wakes up he goes and sits on the couch by himself for a bit. He falls asleep there. He wakes up with his head in Phil's lap, his feet in Maria's. Then they all move back to the bed.  
Phil relives things in his sleep. Bad missions, his father's death. He's restless when he wakes up. He feels the breeze through the window, he gets a drink of water, he puts the T.V. on mute and flicks through the channels. Eventually Nick and Maria wake up and join him until he settles down. They each take a hand and lead him back to bed, securing themselves on either side of him.


	7. Explaining

Their friends don't really get it. They know the three of them live together, sleep in the same bed, love each other, and don't have sex. They know what asexual means, they know that's the term they apply to themselves, and they don't have a problem with it but they don't really get it.

"Is it like a sibling thing?" asks Jasper.  
"Eww! No!" says Phil.  
"Platonic! That's the word I'm looking for."  
"There's nothing platonic about it."

"What do you do instead of sex?" Melinda wants to know.  
"I don't know what that means."

"Hey, Maria. Where's the rest of the tripletts?"  
"Clint, don't call us that. That's weird."

"You guys are lucky. You don't have to worry about cheating," says Natasha. Again.  
"I think Phil's in love with the cellist."  
"I think Maria's in love with Pepper."  
"I think Nick's in love with you."

Their friends don't get it, but that's okay. They're still good friends, supportive, caring and loyal. Nick, Phil and Maria hope they're good friends too, because they don't really get them either.

"I know Thor's beautiful. Why does that make you want to sleep with him?"

"I didn't know there was so much drool involved! Is it always that messy? I don't like this. Turn it off."

"So... does it only work if you picture him, or...?"


	8. Cats

“Which one’s which?” Jasper asked.  
Melinda plucked a Russian Blue cat off her head. “Coulson.” She picked a grey tabby up off the floor and put her in Jasper’s lap. “Hill.” She pointed at the black cat batting at the window. “Fury.”  
“They’re so cute.”  
Melinda gives him a look. “I hope they forget you said that.”  
Maria nipped Jasper’s finger good-naturedly.  
“These missions keep getting weirder and weirder,” he said.  
“Or our agents keep getting dumber and dumber. And my work keeps getting lower and lower.”  
“I’m going to think of this as a break.”  
Phil settled into Melinda’s lap for a nap. She watched Maria purr at Jasper’s attention, falling asleep. Nick came over and hopped onto the couch, settling in between them. Apparently everyone was taking a break. Oh well. They were really cute.


	9. Pets

“So we’ve got salamanders now?” There were three of them. Phil reached into the tank to pet each of them on the head with his finger.

 

“They’re geckos,” said Nick, putting some crickets in.

 

“Why do we have geckos now?” Maria asked. She was aiming for stern, but she couldn’t help but rest her chin on the counter, watching the geckos curiously at eye level.

 

“They’re less maintenance than a dog.”

 

“ _Niiick_.” She drew his name out warningly. “Why do we have geckos now?”

 

“I won them.”

 

Maria rolled her eyes. “Stop playing cards with Clint. You always when all his weird stuff and it always becomes more trouble than its worth.”

 

“These are different though. They don’t talk, they don’t smell weird and they won’t set fire to the furniture.”

               

“Plus they’re really cute,” said Phil, picking one up.

 

Maria watched one of them stalk a cricket. “Yeah, I guess.”

 

Nick smirked at her. He could tell she was charmed by them. “There’s bound to be at least one of us available to feed them and everything. They’re not too much work.”

 

“So what do we call them?”

 

“Hmmm,” said Phil. “Phil junior, Nick junior, Maria junior.”

 

“Harry, Ron and Hermione.”

 

“Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup.”

 

“Let’s sleep on it,” said Nick.

 

 


	10. Birthdays

None of them cared about their own birthdays. “Hooray! I made it through another year!” That’s how they felt every new year. They weren’t big on celebrations that involved lots of people and drinking and shenanigans, at least not when they were the center of attention. But when one of them had a birthday, the other two couldn’t stand letting it pass without acknowledging it in some small way, and that’s what they were happiest with. 

Nick had never had a birthday party the way Phil and Maria experienced them as kids. His birthday was too close to Christmas and his parents weren’t made of money, plus all his friends would have been busy with festive family celebrations. But he would get a cake and his grandparents would visit; he was happy with that. So Maria and Phil made him a cake every year, and since Christmas was right around the corner the kitchen was stocked with gingerbread, his favorite. Nick considered himself spoiled.

Phil liked going out to eat. He loved obscure restaurants and food that no one had ever heard of, but with their schedules they didn’t get the chance to do that very often. So on his birthday Nick and Maria would drive him around to whatever food trucks he wanted to try and let him rave and lecture and eat as much as he wanted. Nick and Maria generally preferred pizza in front of the T.V., but on Phil’s birthday he got to eat wherever he wanted, and didn’t have to pay for a thing.

Not many people knew this but Maria was an art buff. She told them about guys she had dated who went with her to whatever gallery was open, bored to tears, hoping it would get them into her pants later, and then didn’t call her again when all she did was hug them and thank them for a good time. Phil liked the art scene, though he wasn’t particularly knowledgeable about it. Nick couldn’t care less. But on Maria’s birthday they made sure there would be time to take her to a gallery and let her browse as long as she wanted. They listened with interest to what she had to say about every piece, just happy to see her happy.

Birthdays were fun because it was just the three of them. Three days a year of private, innocent fun with no work, no world crises. It wasn’t so much about celebrating another year, but about being together in a way that had nothing to do with work, and spoiling each other because they could.


	11. PHury

“Get it?” Natasha asked. “It’s your ship name.”  
“What’s a ship name?” said Nick.  
“It’s what nosy people such as Clint and myself call your relationship.”  
“Why is our relationship named after only one of us?” Maria asked.  
“No. Look.” Natasha grabbed a pen and notepad from Nick’s desk.  
P. “For Phil.” H. “For Hill. Now you have the fuh, and then-“ ury. “PHury. Get it?”  
Phil grinned. “I get it. I like that.”  
“Yeah,” Maria agreed. “Better than Triplets.”  
“Spell it however you want,” Nick said. “It’s named after me. Speaking of triplets, what do you call agents Carter and Triplett?”  
“CarTrip,” Phil piped up.  
“You were way too excited for that,” Maria said. She thought for a moment. “Striplett.”  
They laughed.  
“You know what we need?” Nick said. “We need to combine our offices and put PHury on the door.”  
“I’m naming the hellicarier that,” said Maria. “With invisible ink. So all anyone will see is PHury floating around.”  
“Maybe I should have kept that name to myself,” said Natasha.


	12. Hot Chocolate

Nick spooned Maria from behind, his face buried in the back of her neck. Phil lay underneath their legs at an awkward angle. They were all half asleep. They liked long days of chasing marks through the snow for exactly this reason. The couch was too small for the three of them, but they crammed themselves into the tight fit anyway. If any of them were bothered to shift slightly, they could watch the snow falling outside, soothing when they didn’t have to go back out for a while.  
Maria was pretty sure Nick had fallen asleep, and she hated to ask, but it was his fault. Nick was the hot chocolate guy, and this was the perfect weather and mood for it. With strenuous effort she turned around to look at Nick’s face. He was pretty much asleep.  
“Nick?” She used her sweet whiny tone that usually won her favors without much argument.  
“Hm?”  
“Will you make us hot chocolate?”  
Nick’s eyes blinked open heavily. He peered at her with a sort of resigned fondness, but didn’t move.  
“Please?” She pouted.  
Nick rolled his. He could feel Phil waking up under them, waiting hopefully.  
“Yeah, please?” said Phil with his own pout.  
Nick groaned, but they knew they were winning. They started planting kisses on his face and feet, interspersed with pleases until he dug himself out of the couch.  
“Yay! Thank you,” they said, still not dropping the babyish voices. Nick flipped them the finger and stumbled into the kitchen.  
Phil took advantage of the extra space and stretched himself out.  
Nick came back with three mugs of cinnamony, marshmellowy hot chocolate.  
“Sit up,” he ordered, and gave them each their mug. He plopped down between them and put his feet on the coffee table, which Phil hated but he made him hot chocolate so too bad.  
“We love you.”  
“Good.”  
They pouted at him some more.  
“I love you too.”


	13. Whipped Cream

They didn’t have time for Thanksgiving dinner this year, but they managed a pie. They polished it off in about an hour, and were left wondering what to do with the rest of the whipped cream. Maria dipped a finger in it and offered it to Phil, who sucked it off. Nick tried to get at the cream too, but Maria slapped his hand away. “Wait your turn,” she scolded.  
She took the bowl and went to the living room. Nick and Phil followed her. They loved these games, but they didn’t play them very often. Maria sat on the couch, bowl on her lap. She looked at Phil and pointed at the floor in front of her. “On your knees.”  
Phil did as he was told.  
She looked at Nick, smirking a little, and pointed at a spot about three feet from her. “On your knees. And be patient.”  
Nick pouted but did as he was told.  
“Hands behind your back, both of you.”  
When they obeyed, Maria scooped up some whipped cream with her middle and index fingers and fed it to Phil.  
“No biting.”  
Phil whined around her fingers.  
“None of that either. Open your mouth.”  
Maria kept having to tell Phil when to stop. As soon as he got her fingers in his mouth he didn’t want to let them go.  
She looked over at Nick. His eye had glazed over and his pants were starting to tent. She beckoned him over. He shuffled closer so that she could unbuckle his pants. “Go ahead,” she said, and went back to feeding Phil.  
Phil was getting tired of the cream; he’d rather just have her fingers, like a security blanket. But there was still plenty left and Nick was still shuddering quietly next to them. He sucked off one more dollop of whipped cream, and then Nick gasped.  
Maria waited until she heard the zipper before offering him a tissue. “Still want some?”  
He shook his head sheepishly, not making eye contact as he wiped his hands on the tissue. Much as they loved these games, there was a reason they didn’t play them very often.  
“How about you?” she asked Phil.  
He shook his head.  
“Go put this back in the fridge then.”  
She looked at Nick. “You can go wash p, if you want.”  
She let them decide if the game was over, but when they were both back from their respective chores they sat on the floor and cuddled up against her legs. She put an arm around each of them, scratching the backs of their necks. “Alright?”  
“Mm-hm,” they said sleepily.  
The whipped cream would probably go bad before they could get to it again, but that wasn’t really the point of these games anyway.


	14. Middle

The bedroom started to get chilly around November, especially at night. That was when they had to start wearing their winter pajamas, and it was always a fight as to who got to sleep in the middle. Nick, the biggest and therefore the best source of body heat, usually let Phil and Maria fight it out amongst themselves (as long as they didn’t get loud, or he’d threaten to move to the couch). That night though, Nick was tired and went to bed early. Maria and Phil cleared up the dishes on their own. When they were ready for bed they found that Nick had fallen asleep in the middle and was taking up most of the space. They glared at him.  
“I guess that settles that,” said Maria.  
“At least we don’t have to pry the covers out from under him.”  
Phil took the left side, Maria took the right. They pressed as close to Nick as they could, trying to absorb his warmth.  
Phil fell asleep before long; Maria heard his breathing even out. She couldn’t fall asleep right away. It always took her forever to warm up. She shifted Nick’s arm so that it was wrapped around her and she could lay her head on his chest. Nick normally wasn’t a heavy sleeper, but at home they could jostle him as much as they wanted and he wouldn’t wake up. Deciding this position wasn’t too comfortable, she climbed on top of him so that she was lying on her stomach, her head under his chin and his arm around her back. She would have grabbed his other arm too, but Phil was using it as a teddy bear. Oh well. She was as close to the human furnace as she could get. She drifted to sleep.  
Until Phil shoved her off. “What the hell?”  
“I’m cold,” said Phil, scowling sleepily. “My turn.” He made to climb on top of Nick.  
Maria pushed him away. “No. I was here first.”  
“You can’t have him all night.”  
They had hold of each other’s shoulders, each trying to keep the other one from claiming Nick as their bed for the night. The struggle was as quiet and as motionless as possible, out of (tiny) respect for Nick’s rest. Stuck in this pose, they started giggling, but were determined not to concede.  
Nick woke up and found them like this. “You alright?”  
“We’re just trying to decide who gets to sleep on you,” said Maria.  
“Yeah,” said Phil. “Go back to sleep.”  
Nick raised an eyebrow. “Should I move to the couch?”  
“No! We’ll stop, we promise.”  
Nick maintained his skeptical expression and slowly settled back into the pillows. He stretched an arm out for each of them, so that they could both lay their head on his shoulders, and he could pull the two of them close. “Now please. Go the fuck to sleep.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist.


	15. Cramps

Maria has suffered worse. She’s had her skull cracked open, both wrists broken, she’s been tortured for information. She bounced back. What was it about period cramps that were so debilitating? That that they had her laid up in bed every month, but she hated the occasions when they did. It made her feel like she lost every argument she ever had about menstruation not being a weakening factor in women. It wasn’t. It was biology. Get over it.  
She didn’t need to kick Phil and Nick’s ass about it, at least. They weren’t squeamish or ridiculous about why she was curled in on herself, pale and sweaty, certain times of the month. That was only if she was lucky enough to be at home when the cramps hit; she never skipped work for things she knew would pass in a few hours.  
Today she was lucky enough to be at home with Phil. Phil came into the bedroom with a mug of peppermint tea for her. He set it on the table and crawled into bed, lifting her head onto his lap. He sometimes asked why she didn’t get a heating pad or pills for the cramps. She said she didn’t want to start needing those things every month because she wouldn’t have access to them all the time. Better to just ride it out.  
“Nick just texted,” Phil said. “He’s at the drug store.”  
Maria smiled. One of her favorite things to picture when she was feeling miserable was Nick Fury, eye-patch and leather coat and all his badassery, buying tampons and chocolates. She wondered if that got him stared at or hit on. She never asked for the chocolate. He only bought them because he knew she’d share with him and Phil.  
“Tell him thanks,” she said.  
She carefully brought the mug to her lips and sipped. She was on her side so it was kind of awkward, but she had no plans to sit up.  
Phil extracted himself from under her to change into pajamas. It was getting late. She heard Nick come home and put the groceries away. The two of them were under the covers by the time he came into the bedroom.  
“Feeling any better?” he asked as he got changed.  
“A bit.”  
He considered the arrangement on the bed for a moment. “Sit up a sec.”  
Maria groaned but sat up. Nick crawled in behind her so that he was sitting up and she was reclining against him. He handed her the mug. “I didn’t want to have to keep passing it to you.”  
“Fair enough.”  
Phil moved closer and wrapped and arm around her. By the time she was done with her tea she felt well enough to sleep.


	16. Mom and Dads

"Off the table," Maria reminded the other two for the umpteenth time. She wasn’t even looking at the table as she breezed into the kitchen. Nick and Phil just didn’t listen to her one rule about the pets. _They don’t go on the table._

Nick and Phil lifted the geckos, which they now referred to as the kids, off the table. Phil placed one each on his shoulders. Nick placed the third on his head. They went back to their paperwork.

Maria rolled her eyes. They didn’t even look silly anymore. They kept the kids on whatever part of themselves they weren’t using at the moment. Maria preferred to let all three of them crawl on her lap and her arms where she could see them; she was the responsible one, after all. Nick and Phil tended to lose track of them when they tried to multitask.

"You guys gonna help me with supper or what?"

‘Mm-hm," they said without looking up or moving.

She rolled her eyes again. If she was going to cook it wasn’t going to be anything that took longer than fifteen minutes. Some sort of cheesy noodle thing. That sounded good.

She took the kids off Phil and Nick to see if they noticed (they didn’t) and put them back in their tank. She didn’t want them wandering off and making her crawl around on the floor looking for them. She started on supper. The smell was beginning to distract Nick and Phil from their work, making them hungry.

Phil looked at Nick and frowned. "You lost a kid."

Nick’s hands flew to his head. "Crap!" He looked at Phil. "You lost them too."

"Crap!"

Maria waited until they were crawling around before telling them, "They’re in the tank, morons."

They stood up, scowling. "Why? We were looking after them."

"Sure. Nice to see you too, guys. And how was your day."

They shuffled over sheepishly and kissed her cheeks.

"Supper smells good," said Phil.

"How was your day?" Nick asked.

"Oh, you know. Usual. Can you get some plates?"

They fell into their usual domestic teamwork. Sometimes Maria had to get their asses in gear but it didn’t take much. They had a quiet, peaceful dinner and the boys did the washing up while Maria took her turn with the kids. They still didn’t have names. Unless you asked Phil and Nick, in which case they had six names. Maria didn’t bother naming them, but she was pretty sure she was the only one who could tell the three of them apart. Must be a mom thing.

 


	17. Safe

At work they were professional. If a mission called for Phil or Maria’s expertise, Nick didn’t hesitate to send them out. He worried, sure. He worried about all his agents, but he kept his nervous twitchy anxiety inside and displayed only the work-appropriate amount of relief when they came back safe. Harder with Phil and Maria, but he managed. He remembered Maria coaching Phil on his facial expressions, teaching him how thrilled it was okay to look in public when his boss got home safe. Nick had practised his in the mirror. That was ages ago now.  
In the privacy of Nick’s office, he and Phil could click their pens nervously and cast anxious glances at the clock and at each other while they waited for Maria to return, but no more than that because they had work to do. They took to two of them working in one office while waiting for the third one to get back, feeling more at ease when they weren’t alone.  
Maria eventually strode into the office for debrief, all business, and Nick and Phil sat up straight and pretended they hadn’t been fidgeting. Maria hated when they fidgeted over her.  
When the debrief was over, Nick and Phil stood up. “Good work, agent Hill.”  
“Welcome back,” said Phil, smiling calmly.  
They cast a quick glance out the window to make sure no one was on their way in, then Nick and Phil pulled her in for a quick hug. She closed her eyes for a moment, breathing them in, and then they pulled away. That would have to do for now, until they got home and they could dog pile on the bed in assurance that they were all safe and well.


	18. Texting

Nick liked cellphones. In fact, he needed them. But he was one of those people rolling his eye at teenagers who got together, presumably to enjoy each other’s company, and spent a good chunk of time texting people who weren’t there. Yet here he, Phil and Maria were, doing the same thing. He was lying on the bed, his legs serving as a backrest for Phil, his chest a pillow for Maria, all three of them on their phones. In his defence, he was working, and he knew the other two were working at least half the time.

“Either of you have those well-intentioned relatives who pry into your love life?” Maria asked.

Clearly now was not that half.

“Not anymore,” said Phil.

“Just Natasha,” said Nick.

“My mom wants to know if I’m seeing anyone.”

“You are. Two someones. Tell her.”

“Tell her you’re in a committed sexless relationship with your boss and colleague from the job you can’t talk about.”

“Would she like to come over for dinner Sunday?”

Maria quirked an unimpressed eyebrow at them.

“What? You are.”

They went back to texting in silence.

“She doesn’t believe me,” Maria said, exasperated.

“Who?”

“Mom. I told her what you told me to tell her and she doesn’t believe me.”

Nick laughed.

Phil looked amused. “Invite her to dinner. We’ll clear our schedules.”

A moment later Maria asked, “Next Sunday works for her. How about you?”

Nick and Phil looked at each other. This would be the first meet the parents thing the three of them did, and they were both out of practise.

“We have got to start indicating our jokes with ‘just kidding’.”


	19. Babies

“Will someone please take Coulson so I can pee?” Clint couldn’t put him down anywhere where he wasn’t being held or out of Fury and Hill’s sight, or he’d start crying. All three infants had to be in someone’s arms and within sight of each other at all times, or Clint, Natasha and Jasper would have three wailing infants on their hands.

Jasper expertly shifted Maria to one arm so that he could take Phil in the other, leaving Clint free to use the bathroom.

Natasha moved closer to him so that Nick could see better. She watched Phil and Maria babble excitedly at each other. Jasper was starting to look wistful.

“Don’t get attached,” Natasha warned. “We’re not keeping them like this.”

Jasper pouted. “I want another one.”

“Well don’t look at me.”

Clint came back and sat by Natasha with his arm around her, bopping Nick’s nose with his finger. He laughed as Nick looked wide-eyed for the culprit.

“We should have called May for backup,” he said.

“I tried,” said Natasha. “I think she’s scared of babies.”

“She’s probably just scared of baby bosses,” Clint suggested. “I can’t decide what I want more; to lord this over them or for them to forget this ever happened.”

“Yeah,” said Japer. “I hope they turn back to normal before they need their diapers changed.”

Natasha watched the babies warily. “I have a feeling we’ll be contractually sworn to secrecy.”


	20. Making Out

Nick and Maria were make-out fiends, as Phil liked to call them. That was about as sexual as Nick liked to get with another person, and as for Maria, the boys suspected she loved the feel of face fuzz. Phil liked kisses, but preferred cuddling. Making out grossed him out a little. It was too… wet. Whenever he walked in on Nick and Maria doing that he rolled his eyes and cleared his throat pointedly until they made room for him in the middle. He was such a tongue blocker. They got him back by each planting a kiss on his cheeks with their wet swollen lips.

Phil came out of the shower and found them enjoying themselves on the couch. He threw the afghan over their heads and went to make breakfast. That was how he handled it now, instead of breaking it up. He used to feel kind of left out, but that was before he found out that Nick and Maria constantly fought over who got to be Phil’s big spoon.


	21. Decorating

“You’re making kind of a mess with those snowflakes, Nick,” said Maria. She and Phil were standing on chairs, taping garland around the walls.

“Yeah, well, you guys wanted to be festive and this is all I know how to do.” Nick was on the couch, snipping designs into a folded piece of paper. There were paper clippings all over the place.

“We could really use your help, Mr. I’m-so-tall-why-are-you-guys-so-short?” said Phil.

“Nah, you’re doing fine,” Nick said. He didn’t even look up. Phil and Maria were like kids around the holidays. They loved decorating. Nick, on the other hand, opted out of anything that required him to stand up. He got as far as stringing the lights around the Christmas tree before deciding he’d rather sit and film the other two.

The buzzer on the oven went off, indicating that the cookies were done.

“I’ll get it,” said Nick, standing up and brushing the paper off him and onto the floor.

“Thanks,” said Phil. “When you’re done, can you sweep up that mess? I think we’ve got enough snowflakes.”

Nick took the cookies out of the oven and then cleaned the floor and the couch of all the bits of paper. He had just finished stringing the snowflakes together when Phil and Maria finished with the garland.

“Those would look nice over there.” Phil pointed to the ceiling at the point where the kitchen met the living room. “But you can put them up. My arms hurt.”

Phil and Maria moved to the kitchen to start decorating the cookies.

“These ones are for us, right?” Nick asked as he attached the snowflakes to the ceiling. Phil often brought several batches of cookies to work. Nick and Maria would get their hands slapped away when they tried to take one.

“Yep, these are for us.”

Nick grabbed a cookie and shoved it in his mouth.

“You don’t want to frost them first?” Maria asked.

Nick held his hand out for the tube of frosting.

“Nice try.”

Nick managed to summon the ambition to make them hot chocolate. He wandered around the house while the other two frosted and sipped, admiring their handiwork.

“You guys did a good job,” he said. “Place looks nice.”

They grinned.

“We should make Santa hats for the geckos,” said Phil.

“You’re on your own.”


	22. Family

“How do you guys want me to introduce you to people, in case it ever comes up again?” Nick asked. It wasn’t entirely out of the blue, but he’d been silent about the incident until now and Phil and Maria figured he just didn’t want to talk about it.

Nick and Phil knew that Maria had a couple of ex-boyfriends because she’d mentioned them. Maria and Nick knew that Phil had ex-girlfriends because they ran into them constantly and he was very friendly with them, even kept in touch with a few of them regularly. Though the idea of Nick having an ex wasn’t inconceivable, it wasn’t something he ever mentioned, nor was it something that Phil and Maria had ever considered. They weren’t sure why and they felt bad about it, but they’d always thought of themselves as Nick’s life outside of work; anything that might have happened before them simply wasn’t relevant. They were selfish, okay? They didn’t like to share.

They managed to synchronise their schedules enough to have their lunch break together. They decided to walk since it was such a nice day. They heard Nick’s name and turned to the lady coming out of the shop, who was suddenly wrapped in one of Nick’s bear hugs, the two of them all excited and grinning. Maria could pinpoint the exact moment he remembered he had his boyfriend and girlfriend with him.

“Sarah, this is Maria and Phil. They’re, uh… we work together.” He cringed minutely. That’s when he became reserved for the next few minutes until they went on their way, and that’s when Maria and Phil realised Sarah’s connection to Nick. They were only a tiny bit jealous. Mostly they were amused to see him go awkward for the first time since… ever, really. It was sweet.

They chatted briefly, Sarah seemed like a lot of fun, and then they were on their way. Nick didn’t talk about it until that evening.

“People you don’t work with or spy on, you mean?” said Phil. He wasn’t bothered about the ‘colleagues’ thing, and he doubted they would run into Nick’s old friends too often, but that was a good point. He always thought of Nick and Maria as his boyfriend and girlfriend, his partners. Their work-friends knew that’s what they were, because their work-friends were like their family now; that’s who they saw every day. The three of them never formally announced their relationship; they just didn’t bother hiding it. So how would they introduce each other to an old friend or ex that they ran into on the street?

“That’s a good question,” said Maria. She pursed her lips and thought for a few moments. ”It’s not like we hang out with anyone who doesn’t already know, so I’m not sure it really matters. Why? Do you think it will come up soon, with Sarah or… anyone?”

“No. I was just wondering. I mean, I thought you must have had to deal with that a few times,” Nick said, gesturing to Phil. “What do you tell people?”

“How many of my exes do you think I hang out with?” Phil asked, exasperated but amused. “It doesn’t come up. I don’t talk to them about work, and while this-“ he indicated the three of them sitting at the kitchen table- “isn’t work, we do work together. I don’t think I can talk about you without making it about work in some way.”

They were all silent for a while, thinking.

“I guess anyone who needs to know, knows,” said Maria.

Nick nodded. “Fair enough.”

After all, they were lucky to see anyone outside of their Shield life. That’s why they made a life with each other. Sometimes they wished they could brag about each other to their normal friends like normal people, but that’s what their family was for.


	23. Bath

Nick was in the bath again, because he loved his baths. Maria was sitting between his legs so that he could wash her hair. Phil was on the floor, leaning against the tub, reading. Nick wished the tub was big enough for the three of them, but Phil didn’t like baths as much as Nick and Maria so there was no point.

Nick shielded Maria’s eyes with his hand so that he could wash the shampoo out of her hair. He ran his finger through it, combing the knots out, before letting her lean against him. He wrapped one arm around her middle and used his other hand to scratch Phil’s head.

“Your hand is wet,” Phil complained.

“Yeah.” _Duh._

“You’re getting water in my eyes.” He rubbed at them with a fist.

“No I’m not.” He dipped his hand in the water and lifted it to Phil’s neck, letting the drops fall down his bathrobe.

“Ack!” Phil reached around and shoved Nick’s head playfully.

Maria yawned. “Those candles are making me sleepy,” she said.

“See?” said Nick. “It’s not just me.”

“It’s usually just you,” Maria replied. “Even though they’re _my_ candles and _my_ bath salts, you use them way more than I do.”

Nick poked her in one of her ticklish spots. She jerked and sent water flying at Phil’s back.

“Hey!” Phil exclaimed.

The other two laughed. “Sorry!”

Phil turned around and splashed water at their faces. They got in a water fight that didn’t end until Phil’s robe and book were sopping wet and most of the water was on the floor.

“Well, I need to change,” said Phil, standing up. “You two can clean that up. Have fun.” He made a hasty exit as Nick and Maria shouted at him to get some towels and put the kettle on.


	24. Retirement

“Have you guys ever wanted kids?” Maria asked. Nothing had led up to that question. It wasn’t the sort of thing that caught them off guard anymore. The second any kind of relationship question popped into someone’s head, it was out in the open.

“I probably did at one point,” said Nick, not looking up from the paper.

“I just always assumed I’d have them,” Phil said from the kitchen. “Even when I first started working with Shield. Those assumptions were dispelled shortly after, though.”

“I warned you,” said Nick.

“You haven’t given it any thought since then?”

“Not really,” Phil said, adding some ham to his omelet. “I wondered what it would be like sometimes, but, you know.”

“No regrets?”

“No.”

“Kids are for other people,” Nick said. “Why? You questioning your life choices already?”

“No,” said Maria. “I was just wondering about retirement and what we’d do.”

“You want kids when we retire?” Phil asked.

“You want to retire?” Nick asked

“I’m not saying either of those things,” Maria assured them. “I was just imagining what retirement would be like if we retired, and what our kids would be like if we had them.”

“Retirement will be boring and the kids will stop being cute when they learn to talk,” Nick said.

“Your kids, maybe,” Phil argued, folding the omelet. “My kids will be awesome.”

“Hey, you guys know I won’t be carrying either of your kids, right?” Maria said, getting nervous about the implications of their argument. “I assumed we’d take in foster kids, or adopt or something.”

“Yeah, us too,” Nick assured her.

“Do you think anyone would let us take care of their kids by that point?” Phil asked.

Maria laughed. “Probably not, but it’s still nice to imagine.” She and Nick went to the kitchen to set the table.

“Do you want kids at some point, Maria?”

“I don’t know. I just sometimes like to think that at some point we’ll have time to seriously consider it.”

“I’m not against kids,” said Nick, giving the geckos their breakfast. “I am against retirement though. You two okay changing all the diapers yourselves?”

“No, we can’t retire before you. There’s a reason Shield is still standing.”

“Thanks. No babies for you.”

“Don’t be so sure,” said Maria. “I’m pretty sure the WSC is plotting to force you into retirement soon, and then you’ll owe us a baby.”

“We making bets now?”

“Yep. Semi-hypothetical bets.”


	25. Hangover

Maria’s head pounded as hard as it could to keep her from prying her eyes open, but she could hear Nick heaving and she wanted to make sure he’d made it to the trash can. He had. She slowly rolled onto her back, careful not to juggle the contents of her stomach too much.

“Phil?” she asked.

“Coffee,” Nick answered.

Good. She pulled a pillow over her face, hoping the cushiony feeling would soothe the ache. It didn’t.

Phil stumbled into the room with two cups of coffee. He gave one to Maria. “Coffee’s ready when you are,” he told Nick. “Does anyone remember why Clint and Natasha are here?”

“Are they here?”

“They’re passed out on the couch.”

“I don’t remember anything,” Maria said. “Were we celebrating or moping about something?”

“Shield anniversary,” Nick said.

“Oh yeah.”

Shield didn’t celebrate anniversaries, but its members who cared enough would often get together in small groups to commemorate. By drinking to excess in this case, though they were usually more careful.

Nick left to empty out the trash can, and came back with his coffee and Advil for everyone.

“Clint promised bacon,” he said. “As soon as the room stops spinning.”

Next to them, Phil snored.

“Can I have his bacon?” Maria asked.

“No.”

“Can I have the last of his coffee?”

“Before it goes cold or he spills it, you mean? I suppose that would be the decent thing to do.”

Maria tried to take it from him, but apparently Phil was awake enough to hear threats to his coffee because he clutched it tighter and finished it off when she let go.

Maria sighed. “I’ll get refills.”

“Get Clint up while you’re at it.”


	26. Rings

The rings were Phil’s idea. They’d been discussing marriage, whether it was an option or not and whether it was something they wanted. It wasn’t something they wanted, but they liked the idea of an official commitment to each other. Phil suggested rings; something visible and tangible with obvious meaning. He hadn’t been entirely serious- he didn’t think the conversation was an entirely serious one- but Nick and Maria loved the idea and two weeks later they were shopping for rings. They decided on plain, simple gold bands. It was ridiculously exciting. They got a few raised eyebrows at work, but it was the first affirmation of their relationship that didn’t get them bombarded with questions. The message was pretty clear.


	27. Sex Pollen

Sex pollen was the worst thing ever. The principle was fine- Nick, Maria, and Phil were very grateful that the principle, it seemed, was arousal and nothing more. But it was so hard to contain. If the jar broke, it got everywhere and you were stuck in a bathroom stall for half an hour. Luckily, while it dispersed easily, it didn’t travel, so they were the only ones affected.

“Well, that was annoying,” Maria said, trying to keep the blush off her face.

Nick was leaning against the lockers, eyes closed. “Could have been worse.”

“Yeah, I read the reports. I think we need to re-examine those, by the way. Because I didn’t have as much trouble keeping my head as I thought I would, based on accounts.”

“I think you’re right.”

“Where’s Phil?”

“Still in the bathroom. I think he’s embarrassed.” He yawned.

“You alright?”

“I’m too old for this crap.”

She laughed. Phil sheepishly tiptoed out of the bathroom to join them.

“How about you?”

“I think I’m just going to go back to work now,” he said. “I don’t ever want to talk about this.”

“You still have to file a report.”

Phil sighed. “I know.”

Basically sex pollen just gives you a strong need to masturbate; at least that’s what their experience led them to conclude. Most pointless thing ever, in their opinion.


	28. Injury

“You don’t need to carry me everywhere,” Phil insisted for the umpteenth time while Nick carried him to the bedroom.

“Yes I do, until you start using your crutches.”

“I was going to hop over and get them.”

“No hopping; you’ll fall on your face.”

Maria snorted, at the mental image or at what she was reading, Phil wasn’t sure. Nick deposited him on the bed next to her.

“I want to go back to work tomorrow.”

“Sure. Stay at your desk.”

Phil sighed and looked to Maria for help.

“Don’t look at me,” she said. “It’s your fault for not using your damn crutches.”

“Fine. Just please don’t make me stay home. I can’t take it anymore.”

“Wah wah wah,” Nick teased.

“Oh, come on, Maria was way worse than me.”

“It’s definitely close,” Nick admitted.

Maria glared. “Watch some T.V. if you’re so bored.”

“What do you think I’ve been doing all day?”

“Wanna play Scrabble?”

Phil shrugged. “Meh.”

“You can finish my paperwork if you want.”

“Let’s play Scrabble.”


	29. Neapolitan

Ice cream was serious business. It was their favorite dessert, snack, comfort food; it was basically their fifth food group. Neapolitan was their go-to because Phil liked chocolate, Maria liked vanilla and Nick liked strawberry. There were no fights over who got the last of the ice-cream, or what flavor ice cream to buy, and they didn’t have to buy all these extra toppings to make it appealing for everyone.

Maria bought plain vanilla a couple of times, which Phil ate with strawberries when he _did_ eat it. Nick would only eat it with chocolate or caramel sauce, which never ran out before the ice-cream did and was left to sit uselessly on the shelf for the rest of the year.

Everyone liked chocolate ice cream, which was why Phil didn’t buy it anymore. In a bucket with two other flavors to choose from, Nick and Maria would leave the chocolate for him. But a bucket of plain chocolate ice cream, there was no way he was getting his fair share.

Nick was the only one who liked strawberry, as they discovered one day while buying ice cream. They were all craving mint chocolate chip, but knew better than to buy it because it had not ended well the last time. Maria wanted cookie dough and Phil was pushing for blueberry. It had been a long day. They were tired and frustrated. Nick had been fine to let them decide, but the decision was clearly exasperating them and they’d never leave the store at this rate, so he weighed in.

“Let’s get strawberry. We haven’t gotten that yet.”

They scrunched up their faces at him. “Ew.”

He glared, but didn’t join the argument. His feet hurt, and he just wanted to go home and eat his damn ice cream already. He looked around until he found it, the one with strawberry, chocolate and vanilla side by side. For some reason they always bypassed that one. He picked it up and headed to the check-out.

“We’re getting this one. Let’s go.”

There was a moment where they considered pushing the issue, but decided against it, and followed sulkily.

Once they got home they changed into their pajamas and collapsed on the couch. Nick served the ice cream- a bowl of vanilla for Maria, chocolate for Phil, and strawberry for himself. They cheered up immediately, the three of the curled up together, spooning comfort food into their mouths.

And that’s how Neapolitan became their favorite flavor.


	30. Valentine's Day

They didn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. That’s what they told themselves until the day arrived. They were completely indifferent to the whole thing; they didn’t understand the point; it was a waste of money. That seemed to be everyone’s attitude until Valentine’s Day actually arrived. And then there were hearts and candies and confetti everywhere, and all the couples had a special evening planned and everyone was kissing and being mushy.

Nick, Phil and Maria weren’t fans of all that stuff, but even their attitudes changed on the day. They wanted to do something special too. Maria would get up early and make waffles for breakfast. Phil would cook a fancy dinner; they’d use the good china and light candles and everything. Nick would pick up an expensive bottle of wine and some chocolates. Then they’d snuggle up on the couch and watch a bad comedy thriller or something.

Because that’s what Valentine’s Day was for; celebrating love and relationships in all their forms in whatever way people liked.

The next day they’d go back to being totally indifferent about all that stupid lovey-dovey Valentine’s Day crap.


	31. Morning

Nick and Phil were morning people. Maria was not. She woke up with the alarm, smashed it  with her fist until it shut up, pulled the covers over her head and went back to sleep. Phil got up to start coffee and breakfast while Nick either showered or collected the mail, leaving her alone to enjoy the warm spots on either side of her. She liked to wait until the last twenty minutes before leaving to shower and eat. Or, she showered the night before, the last ten. Phil and Nick liked to sit and enjoy their coffee. Maria was fine to pour it into a thermos at the last minute and enjoy it on the way to work.

The smell of Phil’s eggs, bacon and hash browns did the job of luring her out of bed. She yawned, stretched, threw her clothes on and went to the kitchen. She’d deal with her hair in the car, like she always did.

“You’re up early,” Phil joked. “We don’t have to leave for half an hour.”

“It’s not time to get up until breakfast is ready,” she said. “Which happened to be early this morning.”

“Tomorrow I’m going to make waffles at three in the morning, just to see what you do,” said Nick as he came in. He deposited the mail on the table and sat down, grabbing an orange from the fruit bowl.

“Probably get up, smack you, and drag you back to bed. If the world isn’t about to blow up there’s no excuse for being up that early.”

“I really admire that about you, Maria,” Phil said, smirking. “On and off base you carry yourself with all the militaristic discipline of a Shield agent.” He dished up three plates and set them on the table. “Dig in.”


	32. Sitwells

Phil and Maria woke up at four in the morning, sensing something was amiss. Nick wasn’t there, that was the problem. They hauled themselves out of bed to look for him, and found him sitting on the couch in the living room, holding a baby.

“What’s going on here?” Maria asked.

“Jasper had to rush his wife to the hospital. She went into labour.”

“I thought she wasn’t due for another month.”

“Well, the baby had other plans. So we’re babysitting this one.”

The baby was asleep, curled protectively under Nick’s chin.

“I’ll make some coffee,” said Maria, going to the kitchen. None of them were going back to bed now.

“How long has she been here?” Phil asked, sitting next to him.

“About an hour and a half.”

“Seriously? You should have woken us. We could have taken shifts.”

“You guys needed your sleep.”

Phil snorted. “Yeah right. More like you wanted her all to yourself.”

Nick smiled and gently maneuvered the baby into Phil’s arms, careful not to wake her. Phil cradled her like a newborn with a look of total adoration, one that spoke of instant attachment, and Nick that Jasper would have a hell of a time getting his first born back.

Maria came back with three cups of coffee which she placed on the coffee table, and sat on Phil’s other side with an arm around his shoulders. Nick caught the thoughtful expression on her face.

“Is this making you wistful?”

 “No.”

“You sure?”

She laughed. “We’re not having any babies, guys. I’m fine to just steal Jasper’s kids periodically.”

“I like that plan,” said Phil.

“They are cute kids,” Nick agreed.

By the time Maria got her turn with the baby (she’d had three cups of coffee to make sure she stayed awake long enough), Phil was trying valiantly not to nod off on her shoulder. The phone rang in the kitchen, and Nick dashed to answer it before it woke them up.

“That was Jasper,” he said when he got back. “Everyone’s fine. They had a boy.”

Maria and Phil grinned, and the baby started to stir.


	33. When I Grow UP

Phil took it for granted that when he grew up he’d get married and have kids. He’d be a good husband and a good father. He’d provide for them, he’d listen to his wife, he’d rub her feet after a long day, he’d play with the kids and put them to bed. They’d all go to the zoo on weekends, he’d help with homework and the dishes, there’d be picnics and family reunions. He would have a normal job and a normal life with normal people. And it would be nice.

But before that became an option a different opportunity presented itself. Nick liked his brains and his talent and his heart, and Phil became a Shield agent. He made friends with spies, he took down bad guys, he trained superheroes, he fought aliens. It was fun and scary and it just felt right. He wouldn’t trade this life for anything.

But sometimes he looked back on the life he expected when he was a kid and wondered if he could have made it work, even without the Shield life.  A few agents managed to have both lives, but Phil suspected they were aided by superpowers. Phil was happy with his setup. This was the life he chose, and this was the life he wanted.

Maria hated the idea of marriage when she was a kid, and she refused to imagine herself with kids of her own. Her parents had been functionally married, if not happily. They still were. But they’d never tried to fool her about the amount of work it took maintain their relationship, about all the emotional energy they had to invest in each other, about all the things they put up with. And they didn’t lie about the effect of adding kids to the mix. Maria decided that was work she didn’t want to do.

As she got older her attitude changed, but only slightly. She still didn’t want to get married, but her memories of her parents’ tiredness and their arguments became overshadowed by memories of their fond smiles at each other, of their genuine concern for each other, of the fun they had together at their wedding anniversary parties. And she remembered them hugging her and helping her with her homework and cooking her favorite meals whenever they could. She still wasn’t sure she wanted kids, but decided they wouldn’t be so bad.

She ended up at Shield, though, and she was glad she did. Surrounded by adults (more or less), keeping them in check but not needing to babysit them (more or less), free to do her own thing (more or less). She had a lot of authority and she was living in an action movie. This was the kind of busyness that suited her. And when she was home she had Nick and Phil to keep her company. Her life wasn’t lacking in any way.

Nick heard stories about the war, about the Howling Commandos, about the SSR and about Shield. Peggy and Gabe told him whenever he asked, and sometimes when he didn’t ask. He was sure he wasn’t supposed to know half the stuff they shared, but looking back now a lot of it was probably fabricated. But he knew right away that that was the life he wanted, the life his parents’ friends always talked about with such enthusiasm and nostalgia. He wanted to save the world too.

He got there eventually. It was a lot more work than he thought it would be. And it was scary as hell. He knew it would be dangerous but Peggy and Gabe had a tendency to either romanticize or soften that part in their stories. Anyway, he became the director of Shield and saved the world. Several times. In fact, he was still saving it. Turns out being the world’s protector is a life-long commitment, and you had a hell of a time staying alive for meet that commitment. He didn’t regret a thing.

But he was lonely. Luckily he didn’t have to protect the world all by himself. And when things got too much to handle, Phil and Maria were there to be his personal protectors.


	34. Loopy

“Someone’s got to go home and feed the fish,” Nick mumbled, not really awake yet. The doctors had given him the good stuff, and Phil and Maria had been waiting around for him to wake up, partly to make sure he was okay, and partly to amuse themselves with his drug-induced confusion.

Phil and Maria shared a glance over the bed. “The fish?”

Nick rubbed at his eye, waking up a little more. “Someone’s got to go home and feed the fish before it eats the dog.”

“What dog?”

“The _dog._ ”

“We don’t have a dog,” said Maria.

“Or fish,” said Phil.

Nick frowned. “Who ate them?”

Phil put his face in his hands, trying not to laugh.

“Maybe it was the geckos,” Maria suggested with a smirk.

Nick stretched. “Someone’s got to tell them to stop that,” he said through a yawn, and fell back asleep.

 

Phil would not go to sleep. He stayed sat up in bed, each hand shaped like a gun and pointed at the far corners of the room.

“What are you aiming at?” Nick asked. “Dust bunnies?”

“You two need to get out of here,” Phil whispered, sounding every bit the way he did on missions. “It’s not safe. Don’t worry; I’ll hold them back.”

“That’s very brave of you, Phil.”

Maria tried to push Phil’s arm down but he wouldn’t budge. “Phil, there’s no one to shoot at. You’re safe. You’re at the hospital. This is just the drugs talking.”

Phil stared at her with intensity appropriate for the situation he thought he was in but was just really funny for the situation he was actually in. “Don’t be ridiculous, Nick,” he said, and then squinted at her for a moment. “I mean Maria. If I were on drugs, could I do this?” He shot a passing nurse- who continued on her way, completely unconcerned- with his ”gun,” making _pew pew_ noises, and dove off the bed.

“Ow.”

Nick picked him up and put him back, tucking him in tightly to make sure he stayed put.

 

“I hate this,” Maria whined for the billionth time.

“I know,” Phil soothed. “Look on the bright side. At least they don’t make you stupid.”

“We’ll see about lowering your dosage,” Nick promised.

“Everything keeps spinning.” She folded her arms over her face as if she would feel less dizzy if she couldn’t see. “I don’t like it.”

Phil took one of her hands and held it. “Try to sleep.”

She screwed her eyes shut and pouted when she didn’t fall asleep after five seconds. “I don’t feel well,” she mumbled petulantly.

Nick went and brought the garbage can over to the bedside. He sat down and started petting her hair until she drifted off.

 


End file.
